I did have unconditional love and I gave unconditional love. I see a lot of blaming here. I didn't blow up anything but I did have a serious grief reaction when my father died that had consequences on my mental state, ability to respond to my families needs and a definite misconception of my grief as narcissistic.
That is a tough situation. It can be hard for mothers to be given grace when they are in a place in which they are unable to maintain their usual parental role - due to grief, illness, etc.
I agree that this can be one reason for estrangement. However in my own case, it was the other way around. I think I may have done too much for her instead of letting natural consequences play out. In the most recent instance, I, the parent, was talked into doing a favor I had said no to previously, and it went on longer than it was supposed to, when I expressed that it was time for me to stop doing this favor, it was completely ignored, wouldn’t talk about it. After some time of this I stopped doing the favor and the spouse actually was the one who brought up the blackmail and said if I didn’t do what he wanted I wouldn’t see my daughter and grandsons again. And well he was right because she ghosted me and then her dad and little sister and will not communicate.
That is such a difficult situation. I hope you can find a way to open up communication with her. She may well be overwhelmed in her marriage and parenthood.
I did have unconditional love and I gave unconditional love. I see a lot of blaming here. I didn't blow up anything but I did have a serious grief reaction when my father died that had consequences on my mental state, ability to respond to my families needs and a definite misconception of my grief as narcissistic.
That is a tough situation. It can be hard for mothers to be given grace when they are in a place in which they are unable to maintain their usual parental role - due to grief, illness, etc.
I agree that this can be one reason for estrangement. However in my own case, it was the other way around. I think I may have done too much for her instead of letting natural consequences play out. In the most recent instance, I, the parent, was talked into doing a favor I had said no to previously, and it went on longer than it was supposed to, when I expressed that it was time for me to stop doing this favor, it was completely ignored, wouldn’t talk about it. After some time of this I stopped doing the favor and the spouse actually was the one who brought up the blackmail and said if I didn’t do what he wanted I wouldn’t see my daughter and grandsons again. And well he was right because she ghosted me and then her dad and little sister and will not communicate.
That is such a difficult situation. I hope you can find a way to open up communication with her. She may well be overwhelmed in her marriage and parenthood.
Thank you for this. It's very helpful.