Supporting the estranged

Some things are not fixable

While digging through academic research on estrangement, I came across an insightful paper by Barnwell (2024) on the “work” of not doing family. She explores the hidden practices behind estrangement; the emotional and social labour required to step outside traditional family roles.

Shame and stigma

As anyone with lived experience of estrangement knows, whether you initiated it or not, it often comes cloaked in shame, despite being far from rare. Much of the stigma stems from the dominant narrative that family ties are irreplaceable and enduring, and that families should be “close, perpetual and worthy of sacrifice”. These beliefs put enormous pressure on everyone involved to reconcile.

By Neil Thomas

The lens of repair

Estrangement is almost always discussed through the lens of repair.

How do we fix it?

How do we heal it?

How do we reconnect?